Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, horror, horror movie, comedy, comedy movie, zom-com, monster, zombie, teen movie, teenagers, boy scouts, gore, blood, movie review, raw movie reviews

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse (2015) – Raw Review

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse isn’t going to get anyone their film-making merit badge.

Scouts  is yet another offering in the zom-com genre, one that’s become saturated with lackluster and genuinely terrible films. Scouts doesn’t quite fall into the latter category but lackluster is an apt description for a film that for all purposes could have been much better than it was.

Starring Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller, Joey Morgan and Sarah Dumont, Scouts vs Zombies (original working title) follows three teenage ‘boy’ scouts who find themselves unknowingly thrown into a zombie outbreak during a camping trip. The film plays all the standard teen comedy, coming-of-age tropes you might expect but it does so half heartedly at best. Director Christopher Landon, whose writing career is prominent with films like Disturbia and all but the first film in the Paranormal Activity franchise, shows his lack of experience in handling Scouts comedy beats which come off silly and flat throughout most of the film. Much the way Cooties failed to hit the mark, Scouts suffers an even worse fate due to the lower caliber of acting from the cast. Tye Sheridan does a decent job, and silly but decent cameo by Cloris Leachman is a nice addition, but a pretty ridiculous recurring role for David Koechner will leave a lot of people scratching their heads.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, horror, horror movie, comedy, comedy movie, zom-com, monster, zombie, teen movie, teenagers, boy scouts, gore, blood, movie review, raw movie reviews

Zom-com films, when handled poorly, often enough go overboard on either the horror or the comedy. Scouts misses the mark on both, leaving horror fans wanting more fleshing eating zombie scenes and comedy fans stuck with the same ol’ stupid sight gags. I’ll give Landon credit for not relying on toilet humor, which one might expect for a movie of this caliber, but there are several boob and dick gags that do little in the way of laughs and nothing at all for story or character development.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, horror, horror movie, comedy, comedy movie, zom-com, monster, zombie, teen movie, teenagers, boy scouts, gore, blood, movie review, raw movie reviews
All-in-all, Scouts is a poor addition to the ever growing list zom-com films. For those who enjoy the genre there is little to find here that hasn’t been done exceptionally better in films like Cockney’s vs. Zombies, Shaun of the Dead, Zombeavers, Fido, Zombieland, Dance of the Dead, etc etc.

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Demons (1985) – Raw Review

Heavy Metal Horror Done Italian Style

The 1980s horror craze wasn’t strictly an American phenomenon. Across the pond and to the south a handful of filmmakers were crafting their own vision of gore and mayhem. Their craft, vision and technique set them apart in many ways. Some good, some not so good.

One of the stand-outs is Demons. Released in 1985 it’s possibly the most popular and/or successful (in the U.S.) of Lamberto Bava’s work. Co-wrote and produced by Dario Argento (Suspiria, Deep Red), Demons is a hard rockin horror in which moviegoers at a midnight premire get trapped with an evil force inside the theatre. It’s a zombie survival style movie done with possessed living humans rather than undead corpses.

The American version’s voice over (if Demon with long tongue tries to make out with couple.in fact it is voiced over) is pretty bad, adding a large dose of campy/silly to an otherwise fun over the top gore fest. Trust me when I say gore fest. It was the 80s and practical effects were cutting edge and horror movies were always trying to push the boundaries. Much like Evil Dead 2, this film has a ton of yellow, green, blue, and red fluids oozing out of every opening, socket, pore and membrane. Some of it’s is silly and some of it is done really well.

Face is ripped off by a demon and he decides to go home.

Adding to the awesomeness is the soundtrack. Bava those in songs by Motley Crue, Billy Idol, Rick Springfield, and Go West. Then he slathers on even more awesome sauce by having Claudio Simonetti write additional score for the film. Who is he you ask? He’s none other than the keyboard player for Goblin, the band who scored Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, Argento’s Suspiria, and more!

This film is universally reviled as poor, but equally loved as a mainstay of 80s horror. When you consider the hero not only hacks away demons with a katana while cruising a dirt bike up and down the aisles how couldn’t this film be a keeper!

Demons prepare to assault the remaining humans
Nuclear Zombies from area 51, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, action, comedy, movie news, monster, horror zombie, zombie movie

Want to help fund an upcoming zombie movie?

Well-known stand-up comics Dante and Joey Medina will shuffle behind the lens for Golden Artists Entertainment’s  Nuclear Zombies from Area 51.

 

Scream Queen Rebekah Kochan leads a cast that includes Shandalia White, Chris Salvatore, Daniel Skelton, Tiara Lanai, Ash Hollywood and porn legend Ron Jeremy.

 

“The movie takes place at a diner on Halloween night that’s being robbed near Area 51 where a terrible accident takes place – that accident kills half the people in the town; the other half are either turned into zombies or, if they’re in an enclosed area, they live and have to fight off zombies”, says Dante.

 

Dante and Kochan wrote the project. Dante, Kochan and Justin L.Jones (The Ouija Exorcism) produce.

To help cinematically contain the outbreak of undead, Golden Artists Entertainment have gone the crowd-funding route to contribute to the budget. You can donate to their Kickstarter here and watch video testimonials from the cast, including Ron Jeremy, here. For as little as $500 you can even end up in the film –  as a zombie!

Nuclear Zombies from area 51, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, action, comedy, movie news, monster, horror zombie, zombie movie

Nuclear Zombies from area 51, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, action, comedy, movie news, monster, horror zombie, zombie movie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nuclear Zombies From Area 51 coming to a blood-soaked screen near you in 2016!

raw movie reviews, fire, weapon, horror movie, horror, monster, Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees, Friday the 13th, The Thing, sci-fi, aliens, Halloween, Michael Meyers, zombie, zombies

Horror Survival Tip #27

Fire Is A Weapon But Fire Is Not Your Friend

Fire is often touted as a potent weapon against all manner of evil. Seen as a cleansing agent, fire has been used in attempts to vanquish the big bad in more movies than I can count. Many of these movies show fire being used successfully. The villain goes down in flames – so to speak – the survivors go home, everyone’s happy again. Yay.

Not so fast. Kill It With Fire often doesn’t work, or shouldn’t work. Fire is a dangerous element. So dangerous in fact our societies have an entire branch of civil servants dedicated to the eradication of fire. We teach fire prevention, keep fire extinguishers in our homes, and tell our children to never play with fire.

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

So why is fire considered such a powerful weapon?

Lies. Lies told by movies. You have to admit, and I will as well, that fire looks cool. Explosions look cool. Volatile gases mixing with oxygen is cool. There is also an entire encyclopedia of cultural, mythic and biblical reasons everyone loves fire but I’m not opening that can of worms.

What’s the Reality? 

Reality is that fire won’t do the job against a serial killer, xenomorph, zombie horde, shark, or any number of deadly movie monsters. Allow me to explain.
  • Guy is burned to death in his boiler room. BURNED TO DEATH. What happens? He comes back more powerful than they could have possibly imagined.
  • Nancy pulls him out of the dream and sets him on fire a second time. What happens? He follows her up the stairs then goes and kills her mother, THEN goes off to make six more movies. Seriously who are we kidding.

Freddy vs. Jason

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

  • After watching Jason kill his friend the drunk party guy throws a pitcher of high proof alcohol on Jason lights him up using a tiki torch. What happens? Not only does it not slow Jason down, it makes him more fearsome. The partygoers see a flaming Jason (eh..a Jason on fire) and lose their shit, scattering into the corn field. What’s more, when the beer keg cools him off his hockey mask isn’t even singed.

Alien/Aliens

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

  • Captain Dallas takes a flame thrower into the access tunnels to flush out the alien. What Happens? Dallas dies pretty damn quick. The Alien clearly doesn’t give a crap about his makeshift flamethrower.

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

  • Colonial Marines carry flamethrowers with them when they enter the hive in Aliens. Furthermore, the flame unit is the only one they are allowed to use. What happens? All but three marines die and that’s only due to three soldiers disobeying orders and using their guns anyway. To make matters worse, when Ripley the badass hero flames the eggs in the queens chamber she clearly feels compelled to use nearly an entire magazine of pulse rifle ammo just to be sure the eggs are dead.
  • One of the helpless victims in a last ditch effort to fend off attack sets the shark on fire. Not a great plan given shes in a boat…on the ocean, but she gets points for being bold. What happens? The shark ends up with a nasty burn scar on the right side of it’s head but is otherwise uneffected. It goes on to kill a bunch of teenagers and scare the shit out of the rest.
  • At the end of the movie Dr. Loomis detonates a room full of explosive gas in an attempt to kill Michael Myers once and for all. What happens? Well Loomis and Myers certainly go out with a boom. As if to emphasize just how unnatural the Shape is, Lori sees him coming walking out of the room completely engulfed in flames. He stumbles, falls and dies. Or so we think he dies… Halloween 4 happens and it turns out not only did the fire NOT kill Michael Myers, it didn’t even kill Dr. Loomis! Hell, he looks pretty good for a guy engulfed in a fireball.
  • Before you start screaming about how fire is the only thing that can kill The Thing let me point something out to you. Fire really doesn’t work consistently at all, throughout the entire movie. The slit-head corpse they bring back from the Norwegian Camp along with the burned dogs are the specimens Blair uses to determine their is still cellular activity. They burn Bennings, Palmer, Norris, and Windows. What happens? All of the burning seems to work until it quickly becomes apparent the situation is so hopeless. We never really know if fire is the end-all-be-all weapon against The Thing because no matter how many Things they burn more Things keep appearing. Furthermore, exploding and burning are two different things. Palmer and Blair both explode, we have no way of knowing if all those little pieces of them actually died. The only fire related death in the entire movie that we know for a fact works is Fuchs – and he most likely burned himself!

Salem’s Lot (1979)

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected, Vampires

  • Ben Mears and Mark Petrie set fire to the Marsten house at the end of the movie in an attempt to cleans the town of the vampire horde. What happens? The wind catches the fire and sweeps over the town driving all the vampires from their hiding places. How is that a good thing? Now the vamps are homeless, pissed off and hungry. Mears and Petrie really didn’t think it through and as a result not only are they being hunted but a lot of people in their wake probably got butchered and turned who might not have otherwise.

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

  • The military blast a hole in the beast’s throat releasing a prehistoric virus that kills a whole bunch of additional people. Next they plan to set the beast on fire. What happens? Fortunately they are smart enough to realize setting fire to the beast could release the contagion worldwide (awesome science) and instead use isotopes. Moral of the story – fire would have made shit worse.

Zombies

Zombies get their own section for a couple reasons.

First, the term zombie is used very loosely today. I’m not going to be picky here, I’m just throwing them all together.  Dead, slightly dead, brain dead, undead, and dead-alive. Rage zombies aren’t really zombies but since they act and hunt like zombies it’s easier to lump them into the group as well.

Second, with such a broad group containing so many sub-classifications the examples begin to pile up quickly and I want to make it clear that use of fire against this group of monsters generally has the same effect on all of them. Or in this particular case the results could be explosive.

 

The Walking Dead

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected, The Walking Dead

  • There are a whole bunch of examples but let’s just go with the opening episode to season 5. Carol blows up the fuel tank as part of her master plan to free the group from Terminus, in the process setting numerous walkers on fire. What happens? The walkers don’t die. They walk right into the compound and start eating/attacking the living. Lighting zombies on fire while they are still mobile only makes them more dangerous, not to mention smell worse.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

  • While trying to start the emergency generator in the parking garage the group is attacked by ‘fast-moving’ dead zombies. After getting boxed into the cage around the fuel station they decide to spray gas on the zombies and light them on fire. What happens? Well, the movie cheats is what happens. It works for narrative purposes but they never actually show the zombies burn long enough to stop being a threat. The fact they are fast moving zombies means they should be 10x more dangerous once set ablaze. This is an example of the divine hand of editing, otherwise the movie would have been a helluva lot shorter. A drop-kick might have been more effective. 

Cillian Murphy, 28 Days Later, Danny Boyle, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, end of the world, fire, infected, Alex Garland, monster

  • In 28 Days Later Jim is pursued by a group of infected, Selena and Mark use molotovs to light them on fire. What happens? The infected don’t even slow down. They continue to pursue Jim until Selena and Mark blow the entire petrol station to hell. Considering the infected aren’t truly dead the fire probably would have worked, and much more quickly than if they were dead, but not until after they caught Jim. What’s worse than being attacked and infected? Being attacked by infected and set on fire all at once!

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

  • In 28 Weeks Later the U.S military calls in the Air Cav to firebomb the secure zone of downtown London. What happens? They light London up like a Christmas tree and still fail to contain the damn infection. Seriously, it’s their first decision and it fails. We’re not even talking about undead zombies who could mill around for god knows how long while burning. The infected are still alive which means they would succumb to fire damage much more quickly, but once again fire fails and the world goes to hell.

Conclusion

Unless you’re a pyro or have absolutely no alternative, fire isn’t a great option when fighting the big bad. It’s a tempting option due to it’s area of effect, especially when it’s weaponized in the form of a molotov, napalm, or flame thrower. Unfortunately it’s just too unreliable in most situations and too difficult to control. Lighting the bad guy ablaze you’re just as likely to set fire to other people, items or locations you never intended.

Special note for zombie hordes – during a zombie attack fire is incredibly destructive. Once on fire the horde is likely to spread said fire to anything and everything in the area. This is how you end up with scenes in movies like this one:

Horror, horror movie, sci-fi movie, sci-fi, alien, monster, slasher, raw movie reviews, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, The Thing, zombie, zombies, infected

 

Dead Girl, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, thriller, monster, sexy, nudity, necrophilia, disturbing, movie review, raw movie review

Dead Girl (2008) – Raw Review

Necrophilia Was Never So Disturbing.

So what would you do if you found a sexy, naked, dead woman chained to a bed in the basement of an abandoned mental hospital?

Seriously, what would you do? She looks alive but isn’t. Does that mean the normal rules of law and order, not to mention morality, don’t apply to your actions?

Dead Girl, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, thriller, monster, sexy, nudity, necrophilia, disturbing, movie review, raw movie review
Well this is the premise the audience is presented with in this film. You could argue that it glorifies rape, bondage, and sociopathic behavior in young people; or you could just watch the movie for its entertainment value. The movie is definitely graphic and disturbing at times. Not as disturbing as Human Centipede but close enough. Don’t get too wrapped up in analyzing this film, just enjoy it for what it is – a horror movie with an incredibly original idea and great execution.Dead Girl, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, thriller, monster, sexy, nudity, necrophilia, disturbing, movie review, raw movie review
Cooties, movie, raw movie review, zombie, comedy, zombies, indie horror, Elijah Wood, Amy Pill, kids, horror, horror movie

Cooties (2015) – Raw Review

Cooties is a pretty run-of-the-mill zom-com. As an action horror it’s decent, yet unremarkable. As a horror movie it’s violent and gory, yet unremarkable. As a comedy it provides a lot of laughs, a few chuckles, and yet is unremarkable.

 

The premise is simple – tainted chicken nugget turns kid into a zombie of sorts, from there is spreads to other kids, and so forth. The film never really classifies it’s feral children as zombies. They start more as crazed infected until hair and body parts start dropping off. They are fast moving, intelligent, able to hunt, and dangerous. Always finding ways around the teacher’s tricks and traps. If you’re looking for more traditional zombie fair you might be disappointed, but for what the movie is trying to do, non-traditional works just fine.

Cooties, movie, raw movie review, zombie, comedy, zombies, indie horror, Elijah Wood, Amy Pill, kids, horror, horror movie

The main downside to the film is the canned storyline and underdeveloped characters. Elijah Wood and Amy Pill provide some good chemistry against the over-the-top shenanigans of Rainn Wilson, creating a funny if not completely ridiculous love triangle. Wilson plays the douche bag gym teacher to perfection, landing just about every one liner he’s given. Unfortunately even a great Rainn Wilson can’t hold up the film on his own. A always hilarious Jack McBrayer is woefully underutilized and Jorge Garcia’s role is almost non-existent, except to trip-out and be available when necessary.

Cooties, movie, raw movie review, zombie, comedy, zombies, indie horror, Elijah Wood, Amy Pill, kids, horror, horror movie

Adam Sandler has proven time and again that you don’t need a story or interesting characters to draw millions of people to the theatre. All you need is witty banter and a bunch of people not getting along. Cooties banks on this concept but makes the wise decision to dress the film in campy horror. A splash of gore, a few dismembered bodies, and just a touch of the apocalypse. It’s the horror that makes the movie better than it should be. Not a lot better, but fun and watchable.

Cooties, movie, raw movie review, zombie, comedy, zombies, indie horror, Elijah Wood, Amy Pill, kids, horror, horror movie

There are some genuinely awesome moments in this movie. The best involving a distracted mother, an SUV, a baby in a car seat, and an infected boy being picked up from school. First time directors Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion do a good job with this movie. It’s well directed and well filmed. The comedic beats are handled well enough to get the laughs, but the story beats feel like old hat a lot of the time. Had the movie been more comedic, or conversely more horrific, then it might have been a homerun. As it stands Cooties is an enjoyable film that most people will find palatable for a popcorn horror showing.  

 

The Dead, The Dead 2: India, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, movie review, raw review, adventure, action, monster, undead, zombie horror, end of the world, apocalypse, The Ford Brothers

The Dead and The Dead 2: India – A Raw Review Double Feature

Sometimes going back to basics is the best recipe for a good horror movie. Everything today is either about going bigger, badder and more over the top, or subverting expectations. We get zombie wildlife, zombie gangsters, zombie sex, and so forth. But what happened to traditional zombie survival stories reminiscent of Romero’s early days?

 

Fortunate for hardcore zombie fans there are a handful of filmmakers producing the classic flesh eating zombie movies we came to love from the 70s and 80s. Two such filmmakers who’ve been hard at work the past few years are the Ford Brothers.

The Dead (2010) and The Dead 2: India (2013) are classic Romero style survival films set during the initial days of zombie outbreaks. The Dead takes place in West Africa, following an American mercenary, played by Rob Freeman, whose plane crashes on the African coast during the first days of the undead rising. As a result he must run the gauntlet across the African landscape to get somewhere he hopes can provide him transport back home.

 

The Dead 2: India has more or less the same premise only this time we follow an American contractor, the excellent Joseph Millson, who must battle his way several hundred miles to Mumbai to rescue his girlfriend as the undead outbreak spreads.

 

The-Dead-2-new-posterThe Ford Brothers The Dead, The Dead 2: India, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, movie review, raw review, adventure, action, monster, undead, zombie horror, end of the world, apocalypse, The Ford Brothersclearly have a vision for the type of movies they wanted these to be, focusing in on
the survival horror elements and conscience of budgetary constraints. Both films are centered on a small number of characters as they search for resources, vehicles and other necessities to survive. The special effects consist of latex and fake blood. CGI is kept to an extreme minimum, used only when necessary to show a few sweeping shots or mass carnage in both films.

 

The bread and butter of these movies comes from the step-by-step storytelling and well handle
d tension from scene to scene. The Ford Brothers understand what made Romero’s movies scary and thrilling, making sure the zombie threat is ever present. These are slow moving zombies, the type that amble in the background adding the scenery in just about every shot. It’s not until they begin to get close, closing in on warm human flesh that danger begins to set in. As survival horror movies go both of these films strip away just about everything they can and boil everything down to the survival. Marooning the main character alone in a foreign country with little to no resources is a simple enough concept that works wonders for these types of movies.

The Dead, The Dead 2: India, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, movie review, raw review, adventure, action, monster, undead, zombie horror, end of the world, apocalypse, The Ford Brothers

Of the two films I enjoyed The Dead 2: India quite a bit more than it’s predecessor. The budget for the second film appeared a bit larger allowing for some excellent cinematography, an increase in the number of zombies, and a larger scale finally. The screenplay for India was also a tad more compelling. Millson’s performance is fantastic, much better than Freemans. However, to be fair, Millson is given a little more motivation to spur him on and emphasize his desire to save lives. One in particular involves a car crash in which he finds a woman and her young daughter trapped inside a vehicle as the dead are closing in. Add to it a great escape scene with a paraglider and a gauntlet run through the slums of Mumbai and part 2 of this franchise is the clear frontrunner in terms of enjoyability, excitement and terror.

The Dead, The Dead 2: India, zombie, zombies, horror, horror movie, movie review, raw review, adventure, action, monster, undead, zombie horror, end of the world, apocalypse, The Ford Brothers

That’s not to say you should avoid the first film. I recommend both movies to anyone who is a fan of Romero style zombie films, but part 2 is much better than the first… even if the IMDB ratings don’t reflect that opinion.

 

The Ford Brothers are certainly honing their skills and word is of a possible third outing for The Dead franchise on the horizon, so fingers crossed they continue to get better and better.

 

You can pick up both movies on Blu-Ray or see them through Amazon Instant Video.

Horror Movie Survival Tip #27

Fire Is A Weapon But Fire Is Not Your Friend

Using fire in a horror movie is problematic.

Fire is often touted as a potent weapon against all manner of evil. Seen as a cleansing agent, fire has been used in attempts to vanquish the big bad in more movies than I can count. Many of these movies show fire being used successfully. The villain goes down in flames – so to speak – the survivors go home, everyone’s happy again. Yay. 

Not so fast. Kill It With Fire often doesn’t work, or shouldn’t work. Fire is a dangerous element. So dangerous in fact our societies have an entire branch of civil servants dedicated to the eradication of fire. We teach fire prevention, keep fire extinguishers in our homes, and tell our children to never play with fire. 


So why is fire considered such a powerful weapon? 


Lies. Lies told by movies. You have to admit, and I will as well, that fire looks cool. Explosions look cool. Volatile gases mixing with oxygen is cool. 

There is also an entire encyclopedia of cultural, mythic and biblical reasons everyone loves fire but I’m not opening that can of worms. 

What’s the Reality? 


Reality is that fire won’t do the job against a serial killer, xenomorph, zombie horde, shark, or any number of deadly movie monsters. Allow me to explain.

  • Guy is burned to death in his boiler room. BURNED TO DEATH. What happens? He comes back more powerful than they could have possibly imagined. 
  • Nancy pulls him out of the dream and sets him on fire a second time. What happens? He follows her up the stairs then goes and kills her mother, THEN goes off to make six more movies. Seriously who are we kidding. 

Freddy vs. Jason

Jason is set on fire in the corn field, kills teenagers anyway.


  • After watching Jason kill his friend the drunk party guy throws a pitcher of high proof alcohol on Jason lights him up using a tiki torch. What happens? Not only does it not slow Jason down, it makes him more fearsome. The partygoers see a flaming Jason (eh..a Jason on fire) and lose their shit, scattering into the corn field. What’s more, when the beer keg cools him off his hockey mask isn’t even singed. 

Alien/Aliens

Captain Dallas flushes the alien through the ship with a flamethrower. Doesn't work out so well.


  • Captain Dallas takes a flame thrower into the access tunnels to flush out the alien. What Happens? Dallas dies pretty damn quick. The Alien clearly doesn’t give a crap about his makeshift flamethrower. 
Ripley sets fire to the eggs in front of the queen in Aliens. Also shoots eggs for some reason.

  • Colonial Marines carry flamethrowers with them when they enter the hive in Aliens. Furthermore, the flame unit is the only one they are allowed to use. What happens? All but three marines die and that’s only due to three soldiers disobeying orders and using their guns anyway. To make matters worse, when Ripley the badass hero flames the eggs in the queens chamber she clearly feels compelled to use nearly an entire magazine of pulse rifle ammo just to be sure the eggs are dead.

  • One of the helpless victims in a last ditch effort to fend off attack sets the shark on fire. Not a great plan given shes in a boat…on the ocean, but she gets points for being bold. What happens? The shark ends up with a nasty burn scar on the right side of it’s head but is otherwise uneffected. It goes on to kill a bunch of teenagers and scare the shit out of the rest. 

  • At the end of the movie Dr. Loomis detonates a room full of explosive gas in an attempt to kill Michael Myers once and for all. What happens? Well Loomis and Myers certainly go out with a boom. As if to emphasize just how unnatural the Shape is, Lori sees him coming walking out of the room completely engulfed in flames. He stumbles, falls and dies. Or so we think he dies… Halloween 4 happens and it turns out not only did the fire NOT kill Michael Myers, it didn’t even kill Dr. Loomis! Hell, he looks pretty good for a guy engulfed in a fireball. 

  • Before you start screaming about how fire is the only thing that can kill The Thing let me point something out to you. Fire really doesn’t work consistently at all, throughout the entire movie. The slit-head corpse they bring back from the Norwegian Camp along with the burned dogs are the specimens Blair uses to determine their is still cellular activity. They burn Bennings, Palmer, Norris, and Windows. What happens? All of the burning seems to work until it quickly becomes apparent the situation is so hopeless. We never really know if fire is the end-all-be-all weapon against The Thing because no matter how many Things they burn more Things keep appearing. Furthermore, exploding and burning are two different things. Palmer and Blair both explode, we have no way of knowing if all those little pieces of them actually died. The only fire related death in the entire movie that we know for a fact works is Fuchs – and he most likely burned himself! 

Salem’s Lot (1979)

Vampires in Marsten house are set on fire after heroes fail to kill them all.

  • Ben Mears and Mark Petrie set fire to the Marsten house at the end of the movie in an attempt to cleans the town of the vampire horde. What happens? The wind catches the fire and sweeps over the town driving all the vampires from their hiding places. How is that a good thing? Now the vamps are homeless, pissed off and hungry. Mears and Petrie really didn’t think it through and as a result not only are they being hunted but a lot of people in their wake probably got butchered and turned who might not have otherwise.

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

Beast from 20,000 fathoms attacks coney island and is nearly set on fire.

  • The military blast a hole in the beast’s throat releasing a prehistoric virus that kills a whole bunch of additional people. Next they plan to set the beast on fire. What happens? Fortunately they are smart enough to realize setting fire to the beast could release the contagion worldwide (awesome science) and instead use isotopes. Moral of the story – fire would have made shit worse.


Zombies

Zombies get their own section for a couple reasons. 

First, the term zombie is used very loosely today. I’m not going to be picky here, I’m just throwing them all together.  Dead, slightly dead, brain dead, undead, and dead-alive. Rage zombies aren’t really zombies but since they act and hunt like zombies it’s easier to lump them into the group as well. 

Second, with such a broad group containing so many sub-classifications the examples begin to pile up quickly and I want to make it clear that use of fire against this group of monsters generally has the same effect on all of them. Or in this particular case the results could be explosive. 


The Walking Dead

zombies on fire over run compound and eat the living


  • There are a whole bunch of examples but let’s just go with the opening episode to season 5. Carol blows up the fuel tank as part of her master plan to free the group from Terminus, in the process setting numerous walkers on fire. What happens? The walkers don’t die. They walk right into the compound and start eating/attacking the living. Lighting zombies on fire while they are still mobile only makes them more dangerous, not to mention smell worse. 

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

zombie on fire in parking garage tries to eat living human in horror movie


  • While trying to start the emergency generator in the parking garage the group is attacked by ‘fast-moving’ dead zombies. After getting boxed into the cage around the fuel station they decide to spray gas on the zombies and light them on fire. What happens? Well, the movie cheats is what happens. It works for narrative purposes but they never actually show the zombies burn long enough to stop being a threat. The fact they are fast moving zombies means they should be 10x more dangerous once set ablaze. This is an example of the divine hand of editing, otherwise the movie would have been a helluva lot shorter. A drop-kick might have been more effective. 

Cillian Murphy running from rage zombie on fire after waking up to find world gone

  • In 28 Days Later Jim is pursued by a group of infected, Selena and Mark use molotovs to light them on fire. What happens? The infected don’t even slow down. They continue to pursue Jim until Selena and Mark blow the entire petrol station to hell. Considering the infected aren’t truly dead the fire probably would have worked, and much more quickly than if they were dead, but not until after they caught Jim. What’s worse than being attacked and infected? Being attacked by infected and set on fire all at once!
Army firebombs london to kill rage zombie infected but fails to contain and zombies kill everyone

  • In 28 Weeks Later the U.S military calls in the Air Cav to firebomb the secure zone of downtown London. What happens? They light London up like a Christmas tree and still fail to contain the damn infection. Seriously, it’s their first decision and it fails. We’re not even talking about undead zombies who could mill around for god knows how long while burning. The infected are still alive which means they would succumb to fire damage much more quickly, but once again fire fails and the world goes to hell. 


Conclusion

Unless you’re a pyro or have absolutely no alternative, fire isn’t a great option when fighting the big bad. It’s a tempting option due to it’s area of effect, especially when it’s weaponized in the form of a molotov, napalm, or flame thrower. Unfortunately it’s just too unreliable in most situations and too difficult to control. Lighting the bad guy ablaze you’re just as likely to set fire to other people, items or locations you never intended. 

Special note for zombie hordes – during a zombie attack fire is incredibly destructive. Once on fire the horde is likely to spread said fire to anything and everything in the area. This is how you end up with scenes in movies like this one:
horror movie city on fire as people die running from zombie hordes.