Martyrs (2008)

Two girls are tortured when young, escape and find those responsible. Then they kill everyone in a bloody gore infested horror scene, then get caught and tortured again.

Tour De Force That is All At Once Brutal and Beautiful

This film is one of the most intelligent films I have seen in recent years. The beauty is dressed neatly in a suit of violence and brutality that is hard to find in most contemporary films, including many in the torture porn genre.

The premise revolves around two young girls who seek out revenge for brutal acts committed against them as children. Sound too heavy for you? Well be prepared because you’ll be shocked by how hard this film punches you in the gut. Violence is quick, bloody, and almost without reason during the first half of the film. If you stick with it into the second half your resolve will pay off in spades. The story draws in and begins to come full circle shedding light on everything previously seen in the movie.

I’m not saying you’ll have a religious experience, but what appears to be another ‘violence for the sake of violence’ film isn’t at all what you end up with. This is an incredibly existential film that will keep you thinking about it for quite a long time.

French movie about two girls tormented as children seeking revenge and violence.

Q: Is this a good film?

A: Yes, it is an extremely intelligent film. Well acted, well directed, but very violent.

Q: Is this a good date movie?

A: Negative. I’d avoid seeing this with a date unless your both philosophy majors who like to have long deep debates on the meaning of life.

Q: Is there nudity in this film?

A: Yeah a bit, but its situational not sexy.

Q: Should I let my kids watch this film?

A: I grew up watching blood and guts at an early age but I’d avoid letting the young ones see this. Not because of the violence, more because they will probably miss the meaning behind the movie.

Q: Is this film subtitled?

A: Yes, it is a French film and it does have subtitles. Don’t be so lazy!

Martyrs (2008)

Two girls are tortured when young, escape and find those responsible. Then they kill everyone in a bloody gore infested horror scene, then get caught and tortured again.

Tour De Force That is All At Once Brutal and Beautiful

This film is one of the most intelligent films I have seen in recent years. The beauty is dressed neatly in a suit of violence and brutality that is hard to find in most contemporary films, including many in the torture porn genre.

The premise revolves around two young girls who seek out revenge for brutal acts committed against them as children. Sound too heavy for you? Well be prepared because you’ll be shocked by how hard this film punches you in the gut. Violence is quick, bloody, and almost without reason during the first half of the film. If you stick with it into the second half your resolve will pay off in spades. The story draws in and begins to come full circle shedding light on everything previously seen in the movie.

I’m not saying you’ll have a religious experience, but what appears to be another ‘violence for the sake of violence’ film isn’t at all what you end up with. This is an incredibly existential film that will keep you thinking about it for quite a long time.

French movie about two girls tormented as children seeking revenge and violence.

Q: Is this a good film?

A: Yes, it is an extremely intelligent film. Well acted, well directed, but very violent.

Q: Is this a good date movie?

A: Negative. I’d avoid seeing this with a date unless your both philosophy majors who like to have long deep debates on the meaning of life.

Q: Is there nudity in this film?

A: Yeah a bit, but its situational not sexy.

Q: Should I let my kids watch this film?

A: I grew up watching blood and guts at an early age but I’d avoid letting the young ones see this. Not because of the violence, more because they will probably miss the meaning behind the movie.

Q: Is this film subtitled?

A: Yes, it is a French film and it does have subtitles. Don’t be so lazy!

Dead Girl (2008) Raw Review

Necrophilia Was Never So Disturbing. 


So what would you do if you found a sexy, naked, dead woman chained to a bed in the basement of an abandoned mental hospital?

Seriously, what would you do? She looks alive but isn’t. Does that mean the normal rules of law and order, not to mention morality, don’t apply to your actions?

Well this is the premise the audience is presented with in this film. You could argue that it glorifies rape, bondage, and sociopathic behavior in young people; or you could just watch the movie for its entertainment value. The movie is definitely graphic and disturbing at times. Not as disturbing as Human Centipede but close enough. Don’t get too wrapped up in analyzing this film, just enjoy it for what it is – a horror movie with an incredibly original idea and great execution.

Dead girl, movie, review, zombie, necrophilia, horror, thriller, high school
What is necrophilia? 


Q: Is this a good movie?

A: A solid storyline and decent acting make this quite a good film. Recommend you see it at least once. 

Q: Is this a good date movie?

A: Only if your date gets turned on by necrophilia.

Q: Is there nudity in it?

A: Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Gratuitous sex and nudity.

Q: Is this a zombie film?


A: I suppose technically it is but not a traditional zombie film.

Q: Where can I see it?

A: Blu-ray and dvd. I saw it for sale at Best Buy awhile back.

IMDB page

Dead Girl (2008) Raw Review

Necrophilia Was Never So Disturbing. 


So what would you do if you found a sexy, naked, dead woman chained to a bed in the basement of an abandoned mental hospital?

Seriously, what would you do? She looks alive but isn’t. Does that mean the normal rules of law and order, not to mention morality, don’t apply to your actions?

Well this is the premise the audience is presented with in this film. You could argue that it glorifies rape, bondage, and sociopathic behavior in young people; or you could just watch the movie for its entertainment value. The movie is definitely graphic and disturbing at times. Not as disturbing as Human Centipede but close enough. Don’t get too wrapped up in analyzing this film, just enjoy it for what it is – a horror movie with an incredibly original idea and great execution.

Dead girl, movie, review, zombie, necrophilia, horror, thriller, high school
What is necrophilia? 


Q: Is this a good movie?

A: A solid storyline and decent acting make this quite a good film. Recommend you see it at least once. 

Q: Is this a good date movie?

A: Only if your date gets turned on by necrophilia.

Q: Is there nudity in it?

A: Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Gratuitous sex and nudity.

Q: Is this a zombie film?


A: I suppose technically it is but not a traditional zombie film.

Q: Where can I see it?

A: Blu-ray and dvd. I saw it for sale at Best Buy awhile back.

IMDB page

So Ben Affleck can’t act but can he direct? Well it looks like he can, at least with some level of competence. I’ve always held a small amount of contempt for actors who like to star in their own movies (I think of Kevin Costner). In Affleck’s case moving into the directors chair is a good career move.

The Town is about bank robbers in Boston. It’s basically Heat done on the east coast with silly Irish-American accents. Affleck plays more-or-less the same character DeNiro played. He knows no other way to make money, wants out of the life, falls for a woman who he lies to, and ultimately gets caught in a shoot-out with the police after being betrayed. Hmm… sound familiar?

Q: Is the movie any good?
A: Suprisingly, yes it is. Strong performances by Jeremy Renner and the late great Pete Postlethwaite really help.

Q: Is it a good date movie?
A: Well since most women want to have Affleck’s love child I’d say go for it.

Q: Is there nudity in it?
A: Nope, not that I remember.

Q: Will it win any academy awards?
A: Oh probably. The Academy seems to like movies about Boston’s tough neighborhoods.

Q: Where can I see it?
A: Blu-ray, On Demand, yada yada.

Valhalla Rising

So you like viking films eh? Well your either gonna love this or hate it. It seems this film was made on the assumption that visuals are more important that dialogue and story.

Set in 1000 A.D. it follows the exploits of a slave warrior who routinely slays others at the behest of his captures for the purpose of making money.

The atmosphere and feeling of the film are tremendous. There is very little, I mean very little dialogue in the movie so if your the kind of viewer who needs to be told exactly what is happening at all times then don’t park your moped here. However, if you enjoy blood, guts, and Mads Mikkelson with one eye and no shirt on then this is going to be right down your alley.

Q: Is this a good movie?
A: Yeah its not bad but if you have ADHD then forgetaboutit.

Q: Is this a good date movie?
A: Ahahahahaha

Q: Is there nudity in the film?
A: Why did I even ask that question? Naked Vikings? Why would anyone want to see that?

Q: Where did you see it?
A: Netflix instant view. I think its also been playing on Stars and Epix.

Q: Should I see this film?
A: It certainly has great cinematography and some great acting but for those of you who like mindless movies (see Dinner for Schmucks) its going to be a big bore.

Valhalla Rising

So you like viking films eh? Well your either gonna love this or hate it. It seems this film was made on the assumption that visuals are more important that dialogue and story.

Set in 1000 A.D. it follows the exploits of a slave warrior who routinely slays others at the behest of his captures for the purpose of making money.

The atmosphere and feeling of the film are tremendous. There is very little, I mean very little dialogue in the movie so if your the kind of viewer who needs to be told exactly what is happening at all times then don’t park your moped here. However, if you enjoy blood, guts, and Mads Mikkelson with one eye and no shirt on then this is going to be right down your alley.

Q: Is this a good movie?
A: Yeah its not bad but if you have ADHD then forgetaboutit.

Q: Is this a good date movie?
A: Ahahahahaha

Q: Is there nudity in the film?
A: Why did I even ask that question? Naked Vikings? Why would anyone want to see that?

Q: Where did you see it?
A: Netflix instant view. I think its also been playing on Stars and Epix.

Q: Should I see this film?
A: It certainly has great cinematography and some great acting but for those of you who like mindless movies (see Dinner for Schmucks) its going to be a big bore.

The Human Centipede [First Sequence]

Three People Connected By One Digestive Tract…WTF? 

The Human Centipede is all about WTF moments.  

This is an extremely unsettling film in which a mad scientist decides to create a human centipede by connecting three people together ass-to-mouth. Now there is nothing inherently wrong with going ass-to-mouth, if you’re in the heat of passion. Sure it’s a little perverted but hormones rule from time to time.

In the case of Centipede, ass-to-mouth is all about creating one interconnected human lifeform. The disturbing nature of this film will probably fly right over the head of the happy-go-lucky film viewer who likes the SAW, Hostel, and other torture porn style horror films. I found this movie rather difficult to watch the first time around and for good reason. Filmmaker Tom Six places in front of you an idea that in reality is completely plausible – if someone were really sick enough to attempt it.

Yes, that’s what I said, the idea is plausible. What’s more, the screenwriter takes the concept seriously, establishing a strong narrative and deftly tackling the challenge of making three people cease to be individuals and instead a three sectioned life form that need to work together to survive.

There are a few scenes that will have veteran movie buffs cringing and a finally that is well worth the wait. I’ll just say that you don’t want to be the middle section.

Body Horror at it's most disturbing, the human centipede connects three people ass-to-mouth via their digestive tract.

Q: Is this a good movie?

A: Yes, surprisingly well made and well acted.

Q: Is there nudity in this movie?

A: Yep, but if you get off on watching this then you’ve got some serious issues.

Q: Is this a good date movie?

A: Um…. I going to go with probably not. Now if you do see it on a date and you both enjoy it then you’ve probably found a keeper.

Q: Where can I see it?

A: I recommend Netflix instant view, but I’m sure you can rent it also.

Q: Isn’t there a sequel?

Yep, but it’s even grosser and more disturbing that this one. Beware. 

The Human Centipede [First Sequence]

Three People Connected By One Digestive Tract…WTF? 

The Human Centipede is all about WTF moments.  

This is an extremely unsettling film in which a mad scientist decides to create a human centipede by connecting three people together ass-to-mouth. Now there is nothing inherently wrong with going ass-to-mouth, if you’re in the heat of passion. Sure it’s a little perverted but hormones rule from time to time.

In the case of Centipede, ass-to-mouth is all about creating one interconnected human lifeform. The disturbing nature of this film will probably fly right over the head of the happy-go-lucky film viewer who likes the SAW, Hostel, and other torture porn style horror films. I found this movie rather difficult to watch the first time around and for good reason. Filmmaker Tom Six places in front of you an idea that in reality is completely plausible – if someone were really sick enough to attempt it.

Yes, that’s what I said, the idea is plausible. What’s more, the screenwriter takes the concept seriously, establishing a strong narrative and deftly tackling the challenge of making three people cease to be individuals and instead a three sectioned life form that need to work together to survive.

There are a few scenes that will have veteran movie buffs cringing and a finally that is well worth the wait. I’ll just say that you don’t want to be the middle section.

Body Horror at it's most disturbing, the human centipede connects three people ass-to-mouth via their digestive tract.

Q: Is this a good movie?

A: Yes, surprisingly well made and well acted.

Q: Is there nudity in this movie?

A: Yep, but if you get off on watching this then you’ve got some serious issues.

Q: Is this a good date movie?

A: Um…. I going to go with probably not. Now if you do see it on a date and you both enjoy it then you’ve probably found a keeper.

Q: Where can I see it?

A: I recommend Netflix instant view, but I’m sure you can rent it also.

Q: Isn’t there a sequel?

Yep, but it’s even grosser and more disturbing that this one. Beware. 

Dinner for Schmucks

Comedy and Violence are great, but this movie isn’t.

The real title of this film should be – ‘If you paid money to see this film, money that could have been used to buy dinner, then you are a schmuck.’

Q: Is it a good movie?
A: Hell to the no.

Q: Is there nudity?
A: Nope. Probably wouldn’t have help though.

Q: Is it a good date movie?
A: Not if you’re trying to get laid.

Q: Should I be under the influence when I see this?
A: That’s probably the only way you’ll get through it.

Q: Whats it about?
A: Its about an hour too long. The opening sequence and the closing sequence are the only two parts worth watching.

Q: Theater, Rental, or Cable?
A: Its not in theaters anymore (I can’t imagine paying 12 dollars to see this) and if you rent it your still shelling out money that can be better spent doing just about anything so I’m going with, cable.

Q: What the hell!? I liked this movie, why are you trashing it?
A: Because I like Steve Carell and Paul Rudd and this film is beneath them both.

Reviews where the corpse is still kicking.