What Are We Watching?

Here is a list of films we currently have in our movie queue. Some are readily available, others are out of print or hard to find, still others may or may not exist at all. Take a peek and drop us a comment to tell us what you think.


Time Walker (1982) PosterTimewalker (1982) Archaeologists find a mold covered mummy in the tomb of King Tut. They bring it back to California, shenanigans ensue.  (Amazon has a combo-pack that includes this film, or YouTube baby)


Demons (1985) People attend a sneak preview of some terrible movie. Woman does something stupid and everyone starts turning into…you guessed it – demons! (Available on disk, not currently on streaming anywhere, YouTube baby)


The Hitcher (1986) PSA on why we do not pick up hitchhikers. Probably Rutger Hauer’s finest film. Highly recommended over the Sean Bean remake from a few years back. (Available on disk if you look real hard, no streaming, Youtube for the win)


Enemy From Space a.k.a Quatermass II (1957) If you’re not familiar with Quatermass and all his adventures, both old and new you’re missing out on some damn good scifi. Try it you won’t be disappointed, and no you don’t need to watch them in order. (Available on disk but the prices are all over the place, no streaming we are aware of, YouTube has a fantastic copy, excellent quality)

Wavelength (1983) This is a weird ass film. Think of E.T. only with Robert Carradine trying to liberate little green men from area 51. We recommend watching this and Revenge of the Nerds back to back, but pretending Carradine is playing the character of Lewis (from Nerds) in both films. Makes Wavelength a better picture and explains why Lewis is so eccentric in Nerds. (YouTube, as always. Amazon, but the copy is rare)

What Are We Watching?

Here is a list of films we currently have in our movie queue. Some are readily available, others are out of print or hard to find, still others may or may not exist at all. Take a peek and drop us a comment to tell us what you think.


Time Walker (1982) PosterTimewalker (1982) Archaeologists find a mold covered mummy in the tomb of King Tut. They bring it back to California, shenanigans ensue.  (Amazon has a combo-pack that includes this film, or YouTube baby)


Demons (1985) People attend a sneak preview of some terrible movie. Woman does something stupid and everyone starts turning into…you guessed it – demons! (Available on disk, not currently on streaming anywhere, YouTube baby)


The Hitcher (1986) PSA on why we do not pick up hitchhikers. Probably Rutger Hauer’s finest film. Highly recommended over the Sean Bean remake from a few years back. (Available on disk if you look real hard, no streaming, Youtube for the win)


Enemy From Space a.k.a Quatermass II (1957) If you’re not familiar with Quatermass and all his adventures, both old and new you’re missing out on some damn good scifi. Try it you won’t be disappointed, and no you don’t need to watch them in order. (Available on disk but the prices are all over the place, no streaming we are aware of, YouTube has a fantastic copy, excellent quality)

Wavelength (1983) This is a weird ass film. Think of E.T. only with Robert Carradine trying to liberate little green men from area 51. We recommend watching this and Revenge of the Nerds back to back, but pretending Carradine is playing the character of Lewis (from Nerds) in both films. Makes Wavelength a better picture and explains why Lewis is so eccentric in Nerds. (YouTube, as always. Amazon, but the copy is rare)

Shit My Pants Scary

Honestly, who wouldn’t soil themselves if they saw this coming up the staircase?

gif – Truly Horrific Hidden Meanings (Part 1)

In our newest segment The Butcher and I will examine some popular gif files and give you truly horrific hidden meaning.

1st… The Exorcist 


Matt: This scene never made it into the original cut of the film because the true horror lies in the night gown Linda Blair is wearing. Sure it was 1973 but word has it that the MPA was worried the outfit would cause little kids too many nightmares so a reluctant William Friedkin removed it in the end. 

The Butcher: I’m actually more horrified by the reverse crab walk. The only other women I’ve ever known who could pull that off were some hookers I ran into in ‘Nam. Don’t think Blatty wanted people thinking his demon was actually the spirit of some Thai hooker looking for some payback. 

2nd… Paranormal Activity 2


Matt: The true horror here is wondering how long that kid went with a shitty diaper. I mean that place must have stunk like a Sao Paulo.

The Butcher: No, no, no. This is an amazing found footage shot of a mother involuntarily saving herself from the terror of changing a poopy diaper. See how her body just says, “NO!” and forces her out of the room. 

3rd… The Fly (1986)


Matt: Well this one is obviously a PSA aimed at illustrating the horrors of oral sex. Here that kids, oral sex will make you look like Jeff Goldblum. 

The Butcher: Public Service Announcement is correct but it’s not an anti sex campaign. It’s clearly designed as a “how not to transport your donor sample to the sperm bank." 

4th… Hellraiser


Matt: It’s frightful how many people don’t exercise safety with power tools. At least he got the measurements right.

The Butcher: Agreed. You hit the nail on the head. 

5th…The Hills Have Eyes (2006)


Matt: The perils of using Chiropractic medicine revealed! 

The Butcher: Naw, this one is simple – Don’t sleep with your sister. Period. 

gif – Truly Horrific Hidden Meanings (Part 1)

In our newest segment The Butcher and I will examine some popular gif files and give you truly horrific hidden meaning.

1st… The Exorcist 


Matt: This scene never made it into the original cut of the film because the true horror lies in the night gown Linda Blair is wearing. Sure it was 1973 but word has it that the MPA was worried the outfit would cause little kids too many nightmares so a reluctant William Friedkin removed it in the end. 

The Butcher: I’m actually more horrified by the reverse crab walk. The only other women I’ve ever known who could pull that off were some hookers I ran into in ‘Nam. Don’t think Blatty wanted people thinking his demon was actually the spirit of some Thai hooker looking for some payback. 

2nd… Paranormal Activity 2


Matt: The true horror here is wondering how long that kid went with a shitty diaper. I mean that place must have stunk like a Sao Paulo.

The Butcher: No, no, no. This is an amazing found footage shot of a mother involuntarily saving herself from the terror of changing a poopy diaper. See how her body just says, “NO!” and forces her out of the room. 

3rd… The Fly (1986)


Matt: Well this one is obviously a PSA aimed at illustrating the horrors of oral sex. Here that kids, oral sex will make you look like Jeff Goldblum. 

The Butcher: Public Service Announcement is correct but it’s not an anti sex campaign. It’s clearly designed as a “how not to transport your donor sample to the sperm bank.” 

4th… Hellraiser


Matt: It’s frightful how many people don’t exercise safety with power tools. At least he got the measurements right.

The Butcher: Agreed. You hit the nail on the head. 

5th…The Hills Have Eyes (2006)


Matt: The perils of using Chiropractic medicine revealed! 

The Butcher: Naw, this one is simple – Don’t sleep with your sister. Period. 

Why is Nightmare on Elm Street such a terrifying film?

Okay, let’s first acknowledge all those out there who find Elm Street to be a silly movie with little of value to the horror genre, or think the movie is actually a comedy saddled with unnecessarily adult themes.


Feel acknowledged? Good because you’re all boring people who lack any type of creativity and/or ability to empathize. Seriously, can you try to get yourselves lost in a movie or are you just too cool for that sort of thing. Quit ruining it for everyone.


Apologies for the degression, but we here at Raw Movie Reviews take our movies seriously, except our comedies. We taken them less seriously. And the Scary Movie Franchise, we take that even less seriously. Anyway, you get the point – horror movies are scary or terrifying or heavy or just plain fun.


This leads us into Nightmare on Elm Street. The 1984 version mind you, as if there was any question. The movie is scary. The subject matter is on a basic level is disturbing in and of itself. Child abduction and murder is unfortunately a common occurrence in our society, or any society for that matter, so why make movies about a child murderer?


Well for one, if you want to experience feelings and emotions related to the terrible things in life but do not want to actually live through them,  or sift through police case files and crime scene photos, or listen to interviews with convicted child murders then your only option is the imagination.


The imagination of others is always the best experience because we cannot manipulate it ourselves. There is no way for us to stop the creative process if we are unhappy with the product and no way to anticipate the ending if it doesn’t belong to us personally.


It’s similar to the concept that food prepared for you always tastes better than food you’ve prepared yourself. It’s true.


Think about it next time you eat food prepared for you, whether it be your significant other or at a restaurant. Look at your plate and think to yourself, “Would this food be better if I prepared it myself?”  – and if you’re eating at Golden Corral then the answer is obviously yes and you are disqualified from this discussion.


So, what have we concluded here?  A Nightmare on Elm Street is scary because food prepared by someone else is always better than food you prepare yourself.

Makes sense to us.

Why is Nightmare on Elm Street such a terrifying film?

Okay, let’s first acknowledge all those out there who find Elm Street to be a silly movie with little of value to the horror genre, or think the movie is actually a comedy saddled with unnecessarily adult themes.


Feel acknowledged? Good because you’re all boring people who lack any type of creativity and/or ability to empathize. Seriously, can you try to get yourselves lost in a movie or are you just too cool for that sort of thing. Quit ruining it for everyone.


Apologies for the degression, but we here at Raw Movie Reviews take our movies seriously, except our comedies. We taken them less seriously. And the Scary Movie Franchise, we take that even less seriously. Anyway, you get the point – horror movies are scary or terrifying or heavy or just plain fun.


This leads us into Nightmare on Elm Street. The 1984 version mind you, as if there was any question. The movie is scary. The subject matter is on a basic level is disturbing in and of itself. Child abduction and murder is unfortunately a common occurrence in our society, or any society for that matter, so why make movies about a child murderer?


Well for one, if you want to experience feelings and emotions related to the terrible things in life but do not want to actually live through them,  or sift through police case files and crime scene photos, or listen to interviews with convicted child murders then your only option is the imagination.


The imagination of others is always the best experience because we cannot manipulate it ourselves. There is no way for us to stop the creative process if we are unhappy with the product and no way to anticipate the ending if it doesn’t belong to us personally.


It’s similar to the concept that food prepared for you always tastes better than food you’ve prepared yourself. It’s true.


Think about it next time you eat food prepared for you, whether it be your significant other or at a restaurant. Look at your plate and think to yourself, “Would this food be better if I prepared it myself?”  – and if you’re eating at Golden Corral then the answer is obviously yes and you are disqualified from this discussion.


So, what have we concluded here?  A Nightmare on Elm Street is scary because food prepared by someone else is always better than food you prepare yourself.

Makes sense to us.

Raw Review: The Returned (2014)


This has really gotten out of hand and we (the mass audiences) have no one to blame but everyone else for letting it get as far as it has. So disclaimer…


Zombies are fun. Zombies are scary. Zombies are versatile. Zombies will get worn out eventually. Zombies will never, ever go away as a horror sub-genre. Zombies are especially cool when a new and creative take on the zombie trope is created.

Zombie infection social issues hate groups we love it.



The Returned presents a new and very interesting take on the zombie sub-genre. Basically, zombie-ism is a disease that is transmitted via fluid exchange between a living human and someone with the zombie virus. Yeah that’s not exactly new, but where this film gets interesting is that big pharma has figured out a way to harvest antibodies to the disease. They are given to infected people which keeps them from dying and coming back as flesh eating assholes.


Where the film gets really really interesting is it’s focus on societies reaction to the ‘Returned’ and how people living with the disease go about their day to day. Think about it. If your neighbor was infected with a zombie virus that required daily doses of antiviral medications to keep them from turning into a dangerous flesh eating monster how would you feel?


Would you let your kids go next door and play? Would you trust your neighbor to pick up their monthly medication and take it diligently each day? What if they were forgetful? Or just unorganized?


Scary right?


Well what if the big pharma companies started running out of the antiviral drugs? Queue panic!


The Returned is a very intelligent film that sets out to tell a story about living life with a dangerous and misunderstood disease. Themes of discrimination, class inequality, and prejudice are strong but subtle. They emerge naturally as part of a well written story, never intentionally and never artificially.


Q: Is there blood and guts and zombie madness in this movie?
A: Yes, there is zombie horror in the film, but the truly scary parts of the film come from how regular people react to the world in which they live. Remember, in any zombie apocalypse people are more dangerous than the actual zombies.


Q: Anyone I know in the film?
A:  Kris Holden-Ried. He was in the Tudors, Underworld: Awakening, and a bunch of other stuff.


Q: Is it a good movie for the whole family?
A: The movie has a moderately slow pace. It’s engrossing and maintains tension from beginning to end, but anyone who wants lots and lots of action and/or guts might get a little impatient.


Q: Looks like a dark depressing film?
A: It’s dark. The relationships are strong and chemistry strong enough that it balances in places, but the film is grim from beginning to end and there is one scene in a hospital that is really gut wrenching. Happens off screen but it’s powerful nonetheless.


Q: Worth seeing?
A: Yes. The ending is fantastic and completely unexpected.

The Returned (2014) – Raw Review

This has really gotten out of hand and we (the mass audiences) have no one to blame but everyone else for letting it get as far as it has. So disclaimer…

Zombies are fun. Zombies are scary. Zombies are versatile. Zombies will get worn out eventually. Zombies will never, ever go away as a horror sub-genre. Zombies are especially cool when a new and creative take on the zombie trope is created.

Zombie infection social issues hate groups we love it.

The Returned presents a new and very interesting take on the zombie sub-genre. Basically, zombie-ism is a disease that is transmitted via fluid exchange between a living human and someone with the zombie virus. Yeah that’s not exactly new, but where this film gets interesting is that big pharma has figured out a way to harvest antibodies to the disease. They are given to infected people which keeps them from dying and coming back as flesh eating assholes.

Where the film gets really really interesting is it’s focus on societies reaction to the ‘Returned’ and how people living with the disease go about their day to day. Think about it. If your neighbor was infected with a zombie virus that required daily doses of antiviral medications to keep them from turning into a dangerous flesh eating monster how would you feel?

Would you let your kids go next door and play? Would you trust your neighbor to pick up their monthly medication and take it diligently each day? What if they were forgetful? Or just unorganized?

Scary right?

Well what if the big pharma companies started running out of the antiviral drugs? Queue panic!

The Returned is a very intelligent film that sets out to tell a story about living life with a dangerous and misunderstood disease. Themes of discrimination, class inequality, and prejudice are strong but subtle. They emerge naturally as part of a well written story, never intentionally and never artificially.

Q: Is there blood and guts and zombie madness in this movie?

A: Yes, there is zombie horror in the film, but the truly scary parts of the film come from how regular people react to the world in which they live. Remember, in any zombie apocalypse people are more dangerous than the actual zombies.

Q: Anyone I know in the film?

A:  Kris Holden-Ried. He was in the Tudors, Underworld: Awakening, and a bunch of other stuff.

Q: Is it a good movie for the whole family?

A: The movie has a moderately slow pace. It’s engrossing and maintains tension from beginning to end, but anyone who wants lots and lots of action and/or guts might get a little impatient.

Q: Looks like a dark depressing film?

A: It’s dark. The relationships are strong and chemistry strong enough that it balances in places, but the film is grim from beginning to end and there is one scene in a hospital that is really gut wrenching. Happens off screen but it’s powerful nonetheless.

Q: Worth seeing?

A: Yes. The ending is fantastic and completely unexpected.

Reviews where the corpse is still kicking.