Wolfcop (2014) – Raw Review

Homage to the B-Movies of Old, Wolfcop is a wild ride.

Werewolf horror film where a police officer uses his lycanthropy to fight crime.
Every now and again a horror movie captures perfectly the magic and memory of cheap, low budget 80s horror. Many more capture the flavor, camp and low budget qualities but forget to throw in a good dash of story. 

Wolfcop falls somewhere in between, bringing a delightful mix of uber camp, awesome low quality special effects and passable acting. Essentially a drunk and ineffective deputy sheriff named Lou Garou (nice play on words there) ends up with lycanthropy and has to harness his powers of slaughter for the greater good. 

Horror movie police Amy Matysio Leo Fafard
The film is essentially Teen Wolf (Michael J. Fox version obviously) with all the blood, swearing, sex and mayhem we wanted but didn’t get thirty years ago. 

Wolfcop rips off the face of a drug dealer scaring everyone else with the bloody mess.
The acting isn’t horrible, although the screenplay misses a few opportunities to ratchet up the humor. The special effects are old school blood and latex which scores major points. The storyline…? There is one and it works, sort of. 

What makes this movie stand out from the crowd is the decision to go where few movies have gone. It takes us into full blown Porky’s, Animal House, Reanimator, Basket Case II territory. Not once but twice! It’s a nice surprise that kicks the movie up a notch from campy O.K. to campy fun. 

Fans of Monster Squad are well aware that Wolfman has nards and Wolf-dork but not until now do we get an opportunity to see it in action. 

Wolfcop modeling before the infamous sex scene showing us his wolf dork

You referance Teen Wolf and Monster Squad, is Wolfcop really deserving of the association?


Were this released somewhere around 1988 it would be a cult classic by now. This movie is like a $10 bottle of wine. It won’t get better as it ages but it will always get you drunk. 

You mentioned wolf-dork, does that mean there is sex?

Showing wolf-dork wouldn’t be very funny if it just hung around and mooched from the craft service table.

Good date movie? 

Yeah it works. There is enough silliness and over the top debauchery to make it a fun couch and snuggle film.

Anything else I need to know?



Wolfcop (2014) – Raw Review

Homage to the B-Movies of Old, Wolfcop is a wild ride.

 

Every now and again a horror movie captures perfectly the magic and memory of cheap, low budget 80s horror. Many more capture the flavor, camp and low budget qualities but forget to throw in a good dash of story.

Wolfcop falls somewhere in between, bringing a delightful mix of uber camp, awesome low quality special effects and passable acting. Essentially a drunk and ineffective deputy sheriff named Lou Garou (nice play on words there) ends up with lycanthropy and has to harness his powers of slaughter for the greater good.

Wolfcop, horror, horror movie, indie horror, comedy, b-movie, campy, werewolf, movie review, monster, action,

 

The film is essentially Teen Wolf (Michael J. Fox version obviously) with all the blood, swearing, sex and mayhem we wanted but didn’t get thirty years ago.

 

The acting isn’t horrible, although the screenplay misses a few opportunities to ratchet up the humor. The special effects are old school blood and latex which scores major points. The storyline…? There is one and it works, sort of.

What makes this movie stand out from the crowd is the decision to go where few movies have gone. It takes us into full blown Porky’s, Animal House, Re-animator, Basket Case III territory. Not once but twice! It’s a nice surprise that kicks the movie up a notch from campy O.K. to campy fun.

Wolfcop, horror, horror movie, indie horror, comedy, b-movie, campy, werewolf, movie review, monster, action,

Fans of Monster Squad are well aware that Wolfman has nards and Wolf-dork but not until now do we get an opportunity to see it in action.

Were this released somewhere around 1988 it would be a cult classic by now. This movie is like a $10 bottle of wine. It won’t get better as it ages but it will always get you drunk.

Sushi Girl (2014) – Raw Review

Sushi? Crime? Mystery? Naked Woman? Sounds Delicious!

 

Sushi Girl is a crime thriller done ‘locked door’ style. When Fish is released from prison, after serving six years, he sits down with his old crew to clear the air, eat some sushi and spill some blood.

This film is inevitably going to be compared to Tarantino due to it’s dialogue driven screenplay, intermittent flashbacks and over the top violence. The characterizations are strong and well handled. Tony Todd (Candyman himself) leads the cast which includes Noah Hathaway (Neverending Story), Mark Hamill (who we didn’t even recognize!), James Duval (Go,  Donnie Darko), Courtney Palm (Zombeavers), Sonny Chiba, Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, etc etc. Lot’s of people in this film.

Sushi Girl, crime, thriller, drama, action, movie review, raw review, Tony Todd, Mark Hamill,
Things quickly get ugly and violent and crazy. The violence isn’t pervasive through the whole film but it is ugly when it happens. What do you expect, you’re watching a Tarantino-esque crime thriller.

The story isn’t bad for the most part. The beats are well placed and it never gets uninteresting or flat out boring. The ending is interesting and rather unexpected, however it seems like there was more to the original story that may not have made it out of the editing room. The payoff at the end is lessened because it’s not set-up as well as possible. It’s almost as if the filmmakers wanted to ensure the ending would be a surprise so they remove as many of the clues as possible. that said, it’s got enough intrigue, actors and story to make it fun and watchable.

Sushi Girl, crime, thriller, drama, action, movie review, raw review, Tony Todd, Mark Hamill,

Sushi Girl – Raw Review

Sushi? Crime? Mystery? Naked Woman? Sounds Delicious!



Crime mystery thriller where sushi blood and death is available.

Sushi Girl is a crime thriller done ‘locked door’ style. When Fish is released from prison, after serving six years, he sits down with his old crew to clear the air, eat some sushi and spill some blood.


This film is inevitably going to be compared to Tarantino due to it’s dialogue driven screenplay, intermittent flashbacks and over the top violence. The characterizations are strong and well handled. Tony Todd (Candyman himself) leads the cast which includes Noah Hathaway (Neverending Story), Mark Hamill (who we didn’t even recognize!), James Duval (Go,  Donnie Darko), Courtney Palm (Zombeavers), Sonny Chiba, Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, etc etc. Lot’s of people in this film.

Things quickly get ugly and violent and crazy. The violence isn’t pervasive through the whole film but it is ugly when it happens. What do you expect, you’re watching a Tarantino-esque crime thriller.

sushi crime mystery tony todd mark hamill james duval noah hathaway

The story isn’t bad for the most part. The beats are well placed and it never gets uninteresting or flat out boring. The ending is interesting and rather unexpected, however it seems like there was more to the original story that may not have made it out of the editing room. The payoff at the end is lessened because it’s not set-up as well as possible. It’s almost as if the filmmakers wanted to ensure the ending would be a surprise so they remove as many of the clues as possible.

Does it mean the ending sucks? 


No, it’s just feels a little hollow because they didn’t truly earn it.


Do you recommend this movie?


Yes. It’s got enough intrigue, actors and story to make it fun and watchable.


Is it truly like a Tarantino film?


Sure. Look Tarantino created an entire subgenre of crime/gangster movies. Popular culture like to quantify and categorize. This movie is a crime/gangster/mystery/thriller with a lot of swearing, blood, death, etc. It’s an appropriate descriptor.


Why didn’t you recognize Mark Hamill?


Maybe he’s just such a good actor all we saw was the character…  Seriously, the character is interesting and wacky enough that we never once saw Luke Skywalker.

We didn't recognize Mark Hamill in his role of Crow in the movie Sushi Girl
“I don’t need the force, I’m a badass." – spoken in Joker voice from Batman cartoon.


Huge cast, do they all have decent roles?


There are six main roles, the rest are bit parts but everyone is great. Seasoned actors filling in the walk-on roles is one of the reasons the movie is better than it should be.


revenge is a dish best served raw sushi girl crime thriller


Date movie?


Eh…tread lightly. If you date enjoys this type of movie then so be it, but there’s nudity and torture. The torture isn’t overdone but it’s kinda gross.

Sushi Girl – Raw Review

Sushi? Crime? Mystery? Naked Woman? Sounds Delicious!



Crime mystery thriller where sushi blood and death is available.

Sushi Girl is a crime thriller done ‘locked door’ style. When Fish is released from prison, after serving six years, he sits down with his old crew to clear the air, eat some sushi and spill some blood.


This film is inevitably going to be compared to Tarantino due to it’s dialogue driven screenplay, intermittent flashbacks and over the top violence. The characterizations are strong and well handled. Tony Todd (Candyman himself) leads the cast which includes Noah Hathaway (Neverending Story), Mark Hamill (who we didn’t even recognize!), James Duval (Go,  Donnie Darko), Courtney Palm (Zombeavers), Sonny Chiba, Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, etc etc. Lot’s of people in this film.

Things quickly get ugly and violent and crazy. The violence isn’t pervasive through the whole film but it is ugly when it happens. What do you expect, you’re watching a Tarantino-esque crime thriller.

sushi crime mystery tony todd mark hamill james duval noah hathaway

The story isn’t bad for the most part. The beats are well placed and it never gets uninteresting or flat out boring. The ending is interesting and rather unexpected, however it seems like there was more to the original story that may not have made it out of the editing room. The payoff at the end is lessened because it’s not set-up as well as possible. It’s almost as if the filmmakers wanted to ensure the ending would be a surprise so they remove as many of the clues as possible.

Does it mean the ending sucks? 


No, it’s just feels a little hollow because they didn’t truly earn it.


Do you recommend this movie?


Yes. It’s got enough intrigue, actors and story to make it fun and watchable.


Is it truly like a Tarantino film?


Sure. Look Tarantino created an entire subgenre of crime/gangster movies. Popular culture like to quantify and categorize. This movie is a crime/gangster/mystery/thriller with a lot of swearing, blood, death, etc. It’s an appropriate descriptor.


Why didn’t you recognize Mark Hamill?


Maybe he’s just such a good actor all we saw was the character…  Seriously, the character is interesting and wacky enough that we never once saw Luke Skywalker.

We didn't recognize Mark Hamill in his role of Crow in the movie Sushi Girl
“I don’t need the force, I’m a badass.” – spoken in Joker voice from Batman cartoon.


Huge cast, do they all have decent roles?


There are six main roles, the rest are bit parts but everyone is great. Seasoned actors filling in the walk-on roles is one of the reasons the movie is better than it should be.


revenge is a dish best served raw sushi girl crime thriller


Date movie?


Eh…tread lightly. If you date enjoys this type of movie then so be it, but there’s nudity and torture. The torture isn’t overdone but it’s kinda gross.

Unnecessary Video of the Day!

 17 Seconds from 

Basket Case 2 

(you’ve been warned)





Need something a but tamer? 

Horror Movie Survival Tip #27

Fire Is A Weapon But Fire Is Not Your Friend

Using fire in a horror movie is problematic.

Fire is often touted as a potent weapon against all manner of evil. Seen as a cleansing agent, fire has been used in attempts to vanquish the big bad in more movies than I can count. Many of these movies show fire being used successfully. The villain goes down in flames – so to speak – the survivors go home, everyone’s happy again. Yay. 

Not so fast. Kill It With Fire often doesn’t work, or shouldn’t work. Fire is a dangerous element. So dangerous in fact our societies have an entire branch of civil servants dedicated to the eradication of fire. We teach fire prevention, keep fire extinguishers in our homes, and tell our children to never play with fire. 


So why is fire considered such a powerful weapon? 


Lies. Lies told by movies. You have to admit, and I will as well, that fire looks cool. Explosions look cool. Volatile gases mixing with oxygen is cool. 

There is also an entire encyclopedia of cultural, mythic and biblical reasons everyone loves fire but I’m not opening that can of worms. 

What’s the Reality? 


Reality is that fire won’t do the job against a serial killer, xenomorph, zombie horde, shark, or any number of deadly movie monsters. Allow me to explain.

  • Guy is burned to death in his boiler room. BURNED TO DEATH. What happens? He comes back more powerful than they could have possibly imagined. 
  • Nancy pulls him out of the dream and sets him on fire a second time. What happens? He follows her up the stairs then goes and kills her mother, THEN goes off to make six more movies. Seriously who are we kidding. 

Freddy vs. Jason

Jason is set on fire in the corn field, kills teenagers anyway.


  • After watching Jason kill his friend the drunk party guy throws a pitcher of high proof alcohol on Jason lights him up using a tiki torch. What happens? Not only does it not slow Jason down, it makes him more fearsome. The partygoers see a flaming Jason (eh..a Jason on fire) and lose their shit, scattering into the corn field. What’s more, when the beer keg cools him off his hockey mask isn’t even singed. 

Alien/Aliens

Captain Dallas flushes the alien through the ship with a flamethrower. Doesn't work out so well.


  • Captain Dallas takes a flame thrower into the access tunnels to flush out the alien. What Happens? Dallas dies pretty damn quick. The Alien clearly doesn’t give a crap about his makeshift flamethrower. 
Ripley sets fire to the eggs in front of the queen in Aliens. Also shoots eggs for some reason.

  • Colonial Marines carry flamethrowers with them when they enter the hive in Aliens. Furthermore, the flame unit is the only one they are allowed to use. What happens? All but three marines die and that’s only due to three soldiers disobeying orders and using their guns anyway. To make matters worse, when Ripley the badass hero flames the eggs in the queens chamber she clearly feels compelled to use nearly an entire magazine of pulse rifle ammo just to be sure the eggs are dead.

  • One of the helpless victims in a last ditch effort to fend off attack sets the shark on fire. Not a great plan given shes in a boat…on the ocean, but she gets points for being bold. What happens? The shark ends up with a nasty burn scar on the right side of it’s head but is otherwise uneffected. It goes on to kill a bunch of teenagers and scare the shit out of the rest. 

  • At the end of the movie Dr. Loomis detonates a room full of explosive gas in an attempt to kill Michael Myers once and for all. What happens? Well Loomis and Myers certainly go out with a boom. As if to emphasize just how unnatural the Shape is, Lori sees him coming walking out of the room completely engulfed in flames. He stumbles, falls and dies. Or so we think he dies… Halloween 4 happens and it turns out not only did the fire NOT kill Michael Myers, it didn’t even kill Dr. Loomis! Hell, he looks pretty good for a guy engulfed in a fireball. 

  • Before you start screaming about how fire is the only thing that can kill The Thing let me point something out to you. Fire really doesn’t work consistently at all, throughout the entire movie. The slit-head corpse they bring back from the Norwegian Camp along with the burned dogs are the specimens Blair uses to determine their is still cellular activity. They burn Bennings, Palmer, Norris, and Windows. What happens? All of the burning seems to work until it quickly becomes apparent the situation is so hopeless. We never really know if fire is the end-all-be-all weapon against The Thing because no matter how many Things they burn more Things keep appearing. Furthermore, exploding and burning are two different things. Palmer and Blair both explode, we have no way of knowing if all those little pieces of them actually died. The only fire related death in the entire movie that we know for a fact works is Fuchs – and he most likely burned himself! 

Salem’s Lot (1979)

Vampires in Marsten house are set on fire after heroes fail to kill them all.

  • Ben Mears and Mark Petrie set fire to the Marsten house at the end of the movie in an attempt to cleans the town of the vampire horde. What happens? The wind catches the fire and sweeps over the town driving all the vampires from their hiding places. How is that a good thing? Now the vamps are homeless, pissed off and hungry. Mears and Petrie really didn’t think it through and as a result not only are they being hunted but a lot of people in their wake probably got butchered and turned who might not have otherwise.

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

Beast from 20,000 fathoms attacks coney island and is nearly set on fire.

  • The military blast a hole in the beast’s throat releasing a prehistoric virus that kills a whole bunch of additional people. Next they plan to set the beast on fire. What happens? Fortunately they are smart enough to realize setting fire to the beast could release the contagion worldwide (awesome science) and instead use isotopes. Moral of the story – fire would have made shit worse.


Zombies

Zombies get their own section for a couple reasons. 

First, the term zombie is used very loosely today. I’m not going to be picky here, I’m just throwing them all together.  Dead, slightly dead, brain dead, undead, and dead-alive. Rage zombies aren’t really zombies but since they act and hunt like zombies it’s easier to lump them into the group as well. 

Second, with such a broad group containing so many sub-classifications the examples begin to pile up quickly and I want to make it clear that use of fire against this group of monsters generally has the same effect on all of them. Or in this particular case the results could be explosive. 


The Walking Dead

zombies on fire over run compound and eat the living


  • There are a whole bunch of examples but let’s just go with the opening episode to season 5. Carol blows up the fuel tank as part of her master plan to free the group from Terminus, in the process setting numerous walkers on fire. What happens? The walkers don’t die. They walk right into the compound and start eating/attacking the living. Lighting zombies on fire while they are still mobile only makes them more dangerous, not to mention smell worse. 

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

zombie on fire in parking garage tries to eat living human in horror movie


  • While trying to start the emergency generator in the parking garage the group is attacked by ‘fast-moving’ dead zombies. After getting boxed into the cage around the fuel station they decide to spray gas on the zombies and light them on fire. What happens? Well, the movie cheats is what happens. It works for narrative purposes but they never actually show the zombies burn long enough to stop being a threat. The fact they are fast moving zombies means they should be 10x more dangerous once set ablaze. This is an example of the divine hand of editing, otherwise the movie would have been a helluva lot shorter. A drop-kick might have been more effective. 

Cillian Murphy running from rage zombie on fire after waking up to find world gone

  • In 28 Days Later Jim is pursued by a group of infected, Selena and Mark use molotovs to light them on fire. What happens? The infected don’t even slow down. They continue to pursue Jim until Selena and Mark blow the entire petrol station to hell. Considering the infected aren’t truly dead the fire probably would have worked, and much more quickly than if they were dead, but not until after they caught Jim. What’s worse than being attacked and infected? Being attacked by infected and set on fire all at once!
Army firebombs london to kill rage zombie infected but fails to contain and zombies kill everyone

  • In 28 Weeks Later the U.S military calls in the Air Cav to firebomb the secure zone of downtown London. What happens? They light London up like a Christmas tree and still fail to contain the damn infection. Seriously, it’s their first decision and it fails. We’re not even talking about undead zombies who could mill around for god knows how long while burning. The infected are still alive which means they would succumb to fire damage much more quickly, but once again fire fails and the world goes to hell. 


Conclusion

Unless you’re a pyro or have absolutely no alternative, fire isn’t a great option when fighting the big bad. It’s a tempting option due to it’s area of effect, especially when it’s weaponized in the form of a molotov, napalm, or flame thrower. Unfortunately it’s just too unreliable in most situations and too difficult to control. Lighting the bad guy ablaze you’re just as likely to set fire to other people, items or locations you never intended. 

Special note for zombie hordes – during a zombie attack fire is incredibly destructive. Once on fire the horde is likely to spread said fire to anything and everything in the area. This is how you end up with scenes in movies like this one:
horror movie city on fire as people die running from zombie hordes.
 

Horror Movie Survival Tip #27

Fire Is A Weapon But Fire Is Not Your Friend

Using fire in a horror movie is problematic.

Fire is often touted as a potent weapon against all manner of evil. Seen as a cleansing agent, fire has been used in attempts to vanquish the big bad in more movies than I can count. Many of these movies show fire being used successfully. The villain goes down in flames – so to speak – the survivors go home, everyone’s happy again. Yay. 

Not so fast. Kill It With Fire often doesn’t work, or shouldn’t work. Fire is a dangerous element. So dangerous in fact our societies have an entire branch of civil servants dedicated to the eradication of fire. We teach fire prevention, keep fire extinguishers in our homes, and tell our children to never play with fire. 


So why is fire considered such a powerful weapon? 


Lies. Lies told by movies. You have to admit, and I will as well, that fire looks cool. Explosions look cool. Volatile gases mixing with oxygen is cool. 

There is also an entire encyclopedia of cultural, mythic and biblical reasons everyone loves fire but I’m not opening that can of worms. 

What’s the Reality? 


Reality is that fire won’t do the job against a serial killer, xenomorph, zombie horde, shark, or any number of deadly movie monsters. Allow me to explain.

  • Guy is burned to death in his boiler room. BURNED TO DEATH. What happens? He comes back more powerful than they could have possibly imagined. 
  • Nancy pulls him out of the dream and sets him on fire a second time. What happens? He follows her up the stairs then goes and kills her mother, THEN goes off to make six more movies. Seriously who are we kidding. 

Freddy vs. Jason

Jason is set on fire in the corn field, kills teenagers anyway.


  • After watching Jason kill his friend the drunk party guy throws a pitcher of high proof alcohol on Jason lights him up using a tiki torch. What happens? Not only does it not slow Jason down, it makes him more fearsome. The partygoers see a flaming Jason (eh..a Jason on fire) and lose their shit, scattering into the corn field. What’s more, when the beer keg cools him off his hockey mask isn’t even singed. 

Alien/Aliens

Captain Dallas flushes the alien through the ship with a flamethrower. Doesn't work out so well.


  • Captain Dallas takes a flame thrower into the access tunnels to flush out the alien. What Happens? Dallas dies pretty damn quick. The Alien clearly doesn’t give a crap about his makeshift flamethrower. 
Ripley sets fire to the eggs in front of the queen in Aliens. Also shoots eggs for some reason.

  • Colonial Marines carry flamethrowers with them when they enter the hive in Aliens. Furthermore, the flame unit is the only one they are allowed to use. What happens? All but three marines die and that’s only due to three soldiers disobeying orders and using their guns anyway. To make matters worse, when Ripley the badass hero flames the eggs in the queens chamber she clearly feels compelled to use nearly an entire magazine of pulse rifle ammo just to be sure the eggs are dead.

  • One of the helpless victims in a last ditch effort to fend off attack sets the shark on fire. Not a great plan given shes in a boat…on the ocean, but she gets points for being bold. What happens? The shark ends up with a nasty burn scar on the right side of it’s head but is otherwise uneffected. It goes on to kill a bunch of teenagers and scare the shit out of the rest. 

  • At the end of the movie Dr. Loomis detonates a room full of explosive gas in an attempt to kill Michael Myers once and for all. What happens? Well Loomis and Myers certainly go out with a boom. As if to emphasize just how unnatural the Shape is, Lori sees him coming walking out of the room completely engulfed in flames. He stumbles, falls and dies. Or so we think he dies… Halloween 4 happens and it turns out not only did the fire NOT kill Michael Myers, it didn’t even kill Dr. Loomis! Hell, he looks pretty good for a guy engulfed in a fireball. 

  • Before you start screaming about how fire is the only thing that can kill The Thing let me point something out to you. Fire really doesn’t work consistently at all, throughout the entire movie. The slit-head corpse they bring back from the Norwegian Camp along with the burned dogs are the specimens Blair uses to determine their is still cellular activity. They burn Bennings, Palmer, Norris, and Windows. What happens? All of the burning seems to work until it quickly becomes apparent the situation is so hopeless. We never really know if fire is the end-all-be-all weapon against The Thing because no matter how many Things they burn more Things keep appearing. Furthermore, exploding and burning are two different things. Palmer and Blair both explode, we have no way of knowing if all those little pieces of them actually died. The only fire related death in the entire movie that we know for a fact works is Fuchs – and he most likely burned himself! 

Salem’s Lot (1979)

Vampires in Marsten house are set on fire after heroes fail to kill them all.

  • Ben Mears and Mark Petrie set fire to the Marsten house at the end of the movie in an attempt to cleans the town of the vampire horde. What happens? The wind catches the fire and sweeps over the town driving all the vampires from their hiding places. How is that a good thing? Now the vamps are homeless, pissed off and hungry. Mears and Petrie really didn’t think it through and as a result not only are they being hunted but a lot of people in their wake probably got butchered and turned who might not have otherwise.

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

Beast from 20,000 fathoms attacks coney island and is nearly set on fire.

  • The military blast a hole in the beast’s throat releasing a prehistoric virus that kills a whole bunch of additional people. Next they plan to set the beast on fire. What happens? Fortunately they are smart enough to realize setting fire to the beast could release the contagion worldwide (awesome science) and instead use isotopes. Moral of the story – fire would have made shit worse.


Zombies

Zombies get their own section for a couple reasons. 

First, the term zombie is used very loosely today. I’m not going to be picky here, I’m just throwing them all together.  Dead, slightly dead, brain dead, undead, and dead-alive. Rage zombies aren’t really zombies but since they act and hunt like zombies it’s easier to lump them into the group as well. 

Second, with such a broad group containing so many sub-classifications the examples begin to pile up quickly and I want to make it clear that use of fire against this group of monsters generally has the same effect on all of them. Or in this particular case the results could be explosive. 


The Walking Dead

zombies on fire over run compound and eat the living


  • There are a whole bunch of examples but let’s just go with the opening episode to season 5. Carol blows up the fuel tank as part of her master plan to free the group from Terminus, in the process setting numerous walkers on fire. What happens? The walkers don’t die. They walk right into the compound and start eating/attacking the living. Lighting zombies on fire while they are still mobile only makes them more dangerous, not to mention smell worse. 

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

zombie on fire in parking garage tries to eat living human in horror movie


  • While trying to start the emergency generator in the parking garage the group is attacked by ‘fast-moving’ dead zombies. After getting boxed into the cage around the fuel station they decide to spray gas on the zombies and light them on fire. What happens? Well, the movie cheats is what happens. It works for narrative purposes but they never actually show the zombies burn long enough to stop being a threat. The fact they are fast moving zombies means they should be 10x more dangerous once set ablaze. This is an example of the divine hand of editing, otherwise the movie would have been a helluva lot shorter. A drop-kick might have been more effective. 

Cillian Murphy running from rage zombie on fire after waking up to find world gone

  • In 28 Days Later Jim is pursued by a group of infected, Selena and Mark use molotovs to light them on fire. What happens? The infected don’t even slow down. They continue to pursue Jim until Selena and Mark blow the entire petrol station to hell. Considering the infected aren’t truly dead the fire probably would have worked, and much more quickly than if they were dead, but not until after they caught Jim. What’s worse than being attacked and infected? Being attacked by infected and set on fire all at once!
Army firebombs london to kill rage zombie infected but fails to contain and zombies kill everyone

  • In 28 Weeks Later the U.S military calls in the Air Cav to firebomb the secure zone of downtown London. What happens? They light London up like a Christmas tree and still fail to contain the damn infection. Seriously, it’s their first decision and it fails. We’re not even talking about undead zombies who could mill around for god knows how long while burning. The infected are still alive which means they would succumb to fire damage much more quickly, but once again fire fails and the world goes to hell. 


Conclusion

Unless you’re a pyro or have absolutely no alternative, fire isn’t a great option when fighting the big bad. It’s a tempting option due to it’s area of effect, especially when it’s weaponized in the form of a molotov, napalm, or flame thrower. Unfortunately it’s just too unreliable in most situations and too difficult to control. Lighting the bad guy ablaze you’re just as likely to set fire to other people, items or locations you never intended. 

Special note for zombie hordes – during a zombie attack fire is incredibly destructive. Once on fire the horde is likely to spread said fire to anything and everything in the area. This is how you end up with scenes in movies like this one:
horror movie city on fire as people die running from zombie hordes.
 

Nightmare Fuel

Reviews where the corpse is still kicking.